Wehey .. we're back in action again! The internet was off from Mon-Thursday night ... but it is on today! Miracles DO happen ....
Well, yesterday was Valentines Day. Oh I remember the excitement of being a teenager wondering if ... maybe ... there would be at least one valentines card coming through my letterbox! Was there one girl that would like to show that they were a 'secret admirer'? We all pretended to be cool on Valentines Eve ... but deep down we were desperately praying, like Samson, 'just one more time Lord ... at least one valentine PLEASE!'
I remember when I was around 15 I suffered a tragic moment ... no valentines card on the 14th! Ultimate embarassment! You spend a whole year trying to act cool in fromt of the girls, cracking you best jokes, wearing your best clothes, trying to be nice to them ... and not even one showed enough interest as to send you a valentine card! Heartbreaking stuff for a mid-teen. But there was good news ... my best friend Ben Ritchie never got one either! And he was better looking than me. So at least I was not alone in my hidden grief. So we got together and hatched a plan ...
Next year we bought very nice feminine valentines cards. Yup, you guessed it. Ben wrote some lovely verses and stated how wonderful and handsome I was. He wrote things like HOLLAND (hope our love lasts and never dies). I did the same for him and we even faked the handwriting. Very lady like. I was impressed with my work and even more impressed with Ben's efforts as I opened it proudly (in front of my whole family) next morning. Off I went to school ...pretty chuffed. 'Of course I got a valentine' I would say to one person after another after another.
Problem. Ben's parents and my parents were, and still are, best friends. I cringe to tell you this but the truth must be told. Ben's mum noticed my beautiful card and made her way over to read it. I mean, you couldn't miss it ... standing there in the cabinet as big, pink and beautiful a card as you ever did see! As she picked it up, panick filled my once excited heart. I saw her face beginning to smile and then she looked at me eye to eye, " Did Ben send you this? I know his writing!"
Up until this point in my life this would have to be the most direct and difficult question I ever faced. Here I was, facing a woman of God whom I loved and respected so much ... and who knew the truth. Would I lie and possibly spend the rest of my life needing to ask forgiveness to Aunty Anne? Or would I tell the truth, bare all and hope for the best? At best, they would laugh, keep it a secret and use it as blackmail fodder. At worst ... it could be contrived as me and Ben coming out of the closet ... if you know what I mean! So I decided to take the truthful way out and take the consequences on the chin ... like a man.
Thankfully, they laughed, I almost killed Ben, we got over it, I went to Bible School, married a real woman and am now a missionary! I have never sent another valentines card to a man since that horrific moment. Honest. So there is hope after disaster! So to all you 12-16 year olds who pretend that you don't really care about valentines but we know you really do ... take some advice from the big man - if you aint got a valentine don't try and change it. Admit it ... some guys have it and some guys don't! Just pray you're a late bloomer and better days are ahead!
Nowadays it seems as if those halcion days are long gone. This year, I recieved two valentines ... from my kids (which they made at school and was really for their mum!) Mary said to me, "I don't want roses and I don't need chocolate ... but of you want me to have a great valentine day can you get me new containers for coffee, tea bags and sugar!" Oh how the mighty have fallen. Such a great event and momentous day , for me, has turned into a bit of a downer.
Never mind ... Ben, me old buddy, let's get our thoughts together and hatch a plan for next year - coz I'm 96.7% sure that you didn't get a valentine this year either!
Mmmmm....
(By the way, happy birthday to my dad - 62 today! Well done dad - you the best and we love you so much. Make sure that mum spoils you and that you have a great weekend. And dad .... did you buy mum a Valentines card this year? He used to be a hopeless romantic!)
Well, yesterday was Valentines Day. Oh I remember the excitement of being a teenager wondering if ... maybe ... there would be at least one valentines card coming through my letterbox! Was there one girl that would like to show that they were a 'secret admirer'? We all pretended to be cool on Valentines Eve ... but deep down we were desperately praying, like Samson, 'just one more time Lord ... at least one valentine PLEASE!'
I remember when I was around 15 I suffered a tragic moment ... no valentines card on the 14th! Ultimate embarassment! You spend a whole year trying to act cool in fromt of the girls, cracking you best jokes, wearing your best clothes, trying to be nice to them ... and not even one showed enough interest as to send you a valentine card! Heartbreaking stuff for a mid-teen. But there was good news ... my best friend Ben Ritchie never got one either! And he was better looking than me. So at least I was not alone in my hidden grief. So we got together and hatched a plan ...
Next year we bought very nice feminine valentines cards. Yup, you guessed it. Ben wrote some lovely verses and stated how wonderful and handsome I was. He wrote things like HOLLAND (hope our love lasts and never dies). I did the same for him and we even faked the handwriting. Very lady like. I was impressed with my work and even more impressed with Ben's efforts as I opened it proudly (in front of my whole family) next morning. Off I went to school ...pretty chuffed. 'Of course I got a valentine' I would say to one person after another after another.
Problem. Ben's parents and my parents were, and still are, best friends. I cringe to tell you this but the truth must be told. Ben's mum noticed my beautiful card and made her way over to read it. I mean, you couldn't miss it ... standing there in the cabinet as big, pink and beautiful a card as you ever did see! As she picked it up, panick filled my once excited heart. I saw her face beginning to smile and then she looked at me eye to eye, " Did Ben send you this? I know his writing!"
Up until this point in my life this would have to be the most direct and difficult question I ever faced. Here I was, facing a woman of God whom I loved and respected so much ... and who knew the truth. Would I lie and possibly spend the rest of my life needing to ask forgiveness to Aunty Anne? Or would I tell the truth, bare all and hope for the best? At best, they would laugh, keep it a secret and use it as blackmail fodder. At worst ... it could be contrived as me and Ben coming out of the closet ... if you know what I mean! So I decided to take the truthful way out and take the consequences on the chin ... like a man.
Thankfully, they laughed, I almost killed Ben, we got over it, I went to Bible School, married a real woman and am now a missionary! I have never sent another valentines card to a man since that horrific moment. Honest. So there is hope after disaster! So to all you 12-16 year olds who pretend that you don't really care about valentines but we know you really do ... take some advice from the big man - if you aint got a valentine don't try and change it. Admit it ... some guys have it and some guys don't! Just pray you're a late bloomer and better days are ahead!
Nowadays it seems as if those halcion days are long gone. This year, I recieved two valentines ... from my kids (which they made at school and was really for their mum!) Mary said to me, "I don't want roses and I don't need chocolate ... but of you want me to have a great valentine day can you get me new containers for coffee, tea bags and sugar!" Oh how the mighty have fallen. Such a great event and momentous day , for me, has turned into a bit of a downer.
Never mind ... Ben, me old buddy, let's get our thoughts together and hatch a plan for next year - coz I'm 96.7% sure that you didn't get a valentine this year either!
Mmmmm....
(By the way, happy birthday to my dad - 62 today! Well done dad - you the best and we love you so much. Make sure that mum spoils you and that you have a great weekend. And dad .... did you buy mum a Valentines card this year? He used to be a hopeless romantic!)
8 comments:
Hahaha! had to laugh at that story!! Goin by your jokes did u really think girls would fall for u?! hehe!
Me and my flatm8 started sending notes and gifts to guys that go to the C.U that live round the corner just as a lil tease, it of course backfired!
That's Mary all over - coffee containers! honestly! (embarrased to admit I'm related now!) personally I'd have asked for the roses and chocolates! Missed my card from Lydia and Josiah! So cute
Belated Happy Valentines to you all!
Love
Aunti Vivix
That was just so good. I remember when I was that age I secretly gave cards to the older men in church, they were all decorated and looking lovely, Jack Gibson, Jimmy Donn, Teddy, My dad and Didy,were all recipients just to make them feel special. My dad was on William Whyte's boat and away from home and none of the young lads received one, dad was so proud showing his one off. Oh how times have changed, hope you had a great day xxx
Hello Mark,
Great Blog! We have'nt laughed so much since a week past Monday being with you in Manila. We are sure that Ben would love to know the story about you that made us laugh so much!
Missing all of the Sefton Family,
David,Grace,Peter and Grace Louise
We are so laughing at you guys,
Wait till we see Ben! I'm thinking he'll be in hiding all weekend. We love catching up with all the Sefton News on the Blog, we laugh, we cry and you give us loads to think and pray about. The golf is still happening,so you better start practising. Love The Donnsx
Mark your something else. Valentines are a thing of the past!!!! but romance is not dead yet. Uncle billy took me for a valentines lunch. Ha Ha. Its so good to have on air again we have so missed your Humour. Got the news from the Strachans they so much enjoyed their time with you. Mark you have blest so many people NEVER CHANGE luv Auntie betty
Hilarious Mark:-) very honest of you to confess(how many others out there have carried their past secret valentine pacts for years). Ben's public confession of the truth of the saga as he was leading the meeting on Sunday morning has definately given everyone in the North East a valentine's memory that will last for years to come, pity you weren't there to hear it.
Love Zander & Monica.
Mark thats so funny!! I knew you and Ben were close but thats taking it too far!!
If your brother came home with tea & coffee containers you would have heard me in Sefton.(hee hee)
Never mind you will soon be back in the broch and Mary can get a nice bunch of flowers and all the galaxy chocolate she can eat.
Counting the Weeks.
Love
Ashley x
Hi Mark mary had coffee containers i got a juicer for valentines day (considering i am married to a greengrocer!!! i will probably get his left over fruit) i really wanted a watch but there's always next year. Much love to all Pat (Bury!!!)
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