Broadband for a Broadguy!

It's 1:30am ... but I am happy! At last, my wee hoosie has 24hr uninterrupted broadband. Yehey! Prepare to have blogs coming at you from everywhere! Well, at least a couple a week.

I am amazed that a few people have phoned me and emailed me to see if I am OK after reading my last blog. I know it was a bit heavy, but I just wanted folk to know that it takes time to adjust and sometimes that adjustment time can be tough. Just to let you know, we are feeling a lot better now. We had a great visit on Saturday from our dear friend John Wildrianne, who is Pastoral Care Director in AoG World Ministries. He flew from London, arrived in Inverness, drove to Fraserburgh just to see us and encourage us. Top man.

Good day on Sunday. Went to Fraserburgh AoG and heard my old (as in age) friend Andrew Smith preach. Good message. Can't believe he is still preaching from those old notes I gave him in 1997. I think I need to send him some more ... ha ha ha. I drew a picture of the people coming out of the church after Andrew's message (see below)

Went to Elim in evening and they had a sharing night. They are starting up a Women's Ministries (a very dangerous thing to do!!!!!) and some of the ladies were sharing and testifying. Always great to see and hear transformed lives.

I'm going to bed now. Hopefully I will get a digital camera soon so I can stick on some pics for you to see. In the meantime, here are a few cartoons to keep you going. By the way, just double click any image or cartoon on the blog to get a bigger picture.

Goodnight ...

Re-Entry (Warning - this a long BLOG! make a cuppa tea first and make yourself comfortable!)

I remember, a few years ago, watching with horror as the NASA Space Shuttle disintegrated over America leaving all the crew members dead and causing widespread grief throughout the world. Was it a bomb? Was it shot at by terrorists? What caused this terrible disaster. Well, after an intensive investigation they found that the problem was a small heat-resistant tile that had broken off during take off. These tiles were so important ... without them the shuttle would disintegrate on re-entry.

Six months after the accident, Discovery channel did a documentary on the tragedy. A simple tile. I could not believe it. Re-entering the earth's atmosphere is not by chance ... it is an exact art. The shuttle has to come into the atmosphere at exactly the right speed at exactly the right angle and exactly the right place. I was amazed to find out that the shuttle was not like an airplane upon descent ... but is a glider! Amazing. (Boy, you're learning a lot today!) The greatest risk to the astronauts' lives is not the space walks or when they are near the moon .. it is coming home.

Re-entry is also used in Missiological circles. It is when the missionary or overseas worker comes back into their own culture. Believe it or not, this is also our most difficult time. Is our most difficult moments when we are out in the Philippines planting churches, running an excellent school, giving 24/7 care to children in the Children's Home, mentoring young Bible College Students, developing the Fire Centre, crying every month for the Lord to supply all the finances for 40 staff members ..... No. Our most difficult moments are right now. On re-entry.

I remember being a young UK Pastor and thinking, "These missionaries are always saying it's tough coming home on itinerary. Who do they think they are? They are doing the same as us, except it is much harder here. Let them come back to UK to plant a church. Then they would know how hard it was here." Now I don't think like that as I have been in both pairs of shoes and I know what it is to be in hard situations here, but I know how hard it is to be in hard situations away from you family, friends, culture and comfort zones.

So right now, things are tough. I'm not complaining or even moaning. It's just the way it is. Things seem so confused right now about our future - we DESPERATELY need personnel to help us. We just cannot run all these ministries alone. For example, in the Philippines the parents of our KMGLC students are crying out for us to continue their kids' amazing educational and spiritual progress. We feel a real burden to start and have been given the go ahead from AoG World Ministries. But we have no Teacher. And we have been crying out to the Lord for 2 years saying, "Lord, have you called anyone yet? Maybe you have called and they have not answered.?" Practically, we cannot stay for more than 1.5 years if we have no school as Lydia leaves our pre-school and there are no schools is Santiago to cater for her. We want to start sharing the vision of the school, but do we wait for a teacher or start in faith? So confusing!

I am still very focused on Sefton as we have no complete cover for the 6 months, so I am still organising the finances etc. from UK. Crazy but no way round it. Life is so hard to set up in the UK (even setting up Broadband!!!) and it is a big adjustment. Believe me. We have been buzzing around Scotland over the last 4 weeks and it feels as if our feet has not touched the ground. And in between I have been struggling to get our itinerary in shape and literature done. Impossible.

So bear with us as we take time to adjust. It takes time. All the ideal things that they told us to do on our 'Care for Mission' interview 3 years ago went out the window when Abe got sick. Everything else - our plans and schedules - took second place, and now we are playing catch up. Only, we have no energy to catch anything!

If you don't believe me, believe a Doctor! There is an excellent web-site that deals with the area of missions from a UK perspective. It is called "OSCAR" and every Pastor and Church should read their stuff. They are excellent and provide excellent material for every aspect of missions. Dr. Debbie Hawker is a writer for OSCAR, and she has written this article about 'Re-entry'. Happy reading ... I pray it will challenge you.


Re-entering the ‘home culture'
60% of returned expatriates report that they had predominantly negative feelings about returning to their own country. It is common to feel confused; disoriented; ‘like a fish out of water’; exhausted; frustrated with materialism, and overwhelmed by the amount of choice in supermarkets (e.g. by six different brands of diet dog-food!). Such feelings are sometimes referred to as ‘reverse culture shock’. Some people feel disappointed that expectations they had before they went abroad have not been fulfilled. Some people have to return earlier than they expected.

Many missionaries experience signs of mild depression for a short period after returning to their own country. These may include a lack of energy; sleeping problems; irritability; difficulty making decisions; a change in appetite; tearfulness; feeling unhappy, and feeling overwhelmed by small tasks. Some people find that they cannot stop thinking about their experiences overseas, and that it is hard to concentrate on anything else. For other people there is a sense of numbness, and the time abroad seems distant or unreal. Some try to cope by not thinking about their life overseas.

It is important to realize that such symptoms are completely normal after living in a different culture, just as a grieving process is normal and expected after the death of someone you love. It is important that you do not criticize yourself for feeling this way, or get depressed about feeling depressed. People who accept their feelings as a normal part of the readjustment process tend to get over them more easily. It often takes at least 18 months before people feel ‘back to normal’ in their own culture. People who adapted most to the culture overseas and were most involved generally take longer than those who were not so involved with the local culture. Rushing back overseas again is generally not a good idea, as this causes more stress, and makes the next re-entry even more difficult. It is generally better to wait until you feel more settled before considering another move.

Whether your experiences were positive, negative, or mixed, relating them to someone who understands can help you move on to the next step in your life. As well as talking with friends and family, many people find it helpful to have a more formal debriefing session. Personal debriefing has been defined as ‘telling your story to someone who understands, until you are heard in such a way as to bring “closure” to your experience, so that you are free to move on’. Personal debriefing is recommended for all returned missionaries, as it can help you reflect on your experiences, cope with the stress of readjustment, and enhance self-understanding and personal growth.

If you experience symptoms of stress or depression, take special care of yourself. Don’t berate yourself, as such symptoms are a common part of re-entry. Moving cultures is exhausting. It is important that you take sufficient time to rest and relax on your return. You may need to sleep more than normal. Try to avoid making major decisions until you have had time to readjust. Even if people keep asking, ‘Are you going to go back?’ or ‘When are you going to get a job’, don’t feel forced into making decisions too soon. It may be helpful to turn down some invitations at first, and take things slowly for a while. On the other hand, it is important that you do not avoid all forms of activity. Prioritize the things you want (or need) to do.

Doing things which you enjoy and which give you a sense of achievement can help defeat feelings of depression. Spend time with supportive people, and look for opportunities to laugh. Moderate exercise, like walking, helps to reduce feelings of stress, and acts as a natural anti-depressant. To look after your health, try to eat a balanced diet. Avoid drinking excessive caffeine or alcohol, as these can interfere with your readjustment. Cry if you feel like crying - it is a healthy thing to do. Don’t take on too much, but set yourself small, achievable goals. Recognize when you are under stress and do things which help you to relax. Accidents are more common at times of tiredness and stress, so take extra care, especially when driving.

Try not to dwell on negative thoughts. Think about what you achieved and learned through your time overseas. This is not to deny that there may also have been negative experiences, but it can help you to see that the experience has not been meaningless.

Although this description of difficulties might sound very negative, most people readjust well given time. Most say that they would not have wanted to miss the experiences they had overseas, despite any negative feelings they may have on return. Even those who experience depression or stress symptoms completely recover when they receive help. It is important to remember:

* Having some difficulties fitting in when you first return is normal
* Adjustment takes time
* It is best if you don't bottle up your feelings or criticize yourself for having them
* Talking about your experiences can help, and debriefing is very beneficial
* If you are worried about any difficulties, or if symptoms persist, contact someone for help
* You have coped with transitions in the past, and you will get through this too


This article was written by Dr Debbie Hawker. Debbie and her husband David are Christian clinical psychologists who specialize in offering help to missionaries and their families. They are based in the Midlands (England).

Now, Where was I ....

G'day folks. A week is a long time in politics, but four weeks without internet is like a prison sentence! Yup, still waiting. I was one of those poor souls that saw SKY's offer of free broadband and thought that 'coming very soon' meant exactly what it said. After waiting three weeks, I got an email from SKY with the great news that I can get my SKY broadband in around 12 months time!! Great! I'll be thousands of miles away by that time. AAAggghhh ... back to square one. Anyway, good old BT will put in my broadband on Monday - after all my effort!!!!

What has happened in the last 12 days? Well, here's a wee update:

* Ended up staying in Fraserburgh for a week extra. Couple of reasons - we had difficulty getting Josiah's TB medicine here in UK. Turns out that there are very few kids with TB in UK, so getting syrup was almost impossible. But Garden's Pharmacy in Fraserburgh were fantastic and went the extra 100 miles to make sure wee Josiah didn't go more than 2 days without the medicine. We went down to the Central Belt a week late, but it worked out well.

The second reason that we could not go down to the Central Belt was that we were absolutely shattered. Both Mary & I felt a level of exhaustion and tiredness we have never experienced before. We just could not physically go. So we decided to stay in Fraserburgh for an extra week and let the kids have some settled time. Good choice. Kids had great quality time with my mum & dad.

* Went down to Central Belt and stayed with our agents' Norman & Gillian in Bathgate. They have done a lot of work to their house and it is beautiful. Great to catch up with their family again. Met a lot of friends over those few days - Lesley & Stuart Baillie in Edinburgh (had a great time with their kids - especially finishing a jigsaw with Joshua!), Andrew & Lois Smith (had an amazing curry at their place ... MMMMmmmmmm!!!!), went to visit Mrs Nora Graham in Larbert to show her photos from the school. Mr Graham is seriously ill in hospital so we spent a bit of time just listening and praying with her in her home.

Had a great time on Sunday morning at Whitburn Pentecostal Church. So great to see old - and new - faces, and to feel the presence of the Lord there. Loved it.

Heard the sad news that my sister-in-law Ashley had fallen and broken her leg in three places at Youth Camp. Couldn't believe it. Just a day before the family were going to go on holiday. Please pray for Ashley, Paul and their lovely boys Nathan & Aaron.

Came home and spent a few days in Fraserburgh. Our friends David & Jenny Thomson from Edinburgh were up to stay with Kenny & Suzanne, so we had a great night with them. Have to admit that us boys stayed up until 4am playing tiger Woods golf!!!!! But just ask Kenny & David who won!! These are the times I REALLY MISS.

Had a great time with my Uncle Billy and Aunty Betty in Gamrie. If you have never been to Gamrie, you should go. Breathtakingly beautiful ... but not so satisfying as the scrumptious meal that they cooked us! My cousin Elizabeth was there with her two beautiful girls - Libby & Milly. They have become Lydia's 'kinda cousins' and new friends!

Last Saturday we came up to Wick. Met the Thomsons and the Ross' families at Elgin on way. What a laugh. Six adults, ten kids all packed into Burger King. Imagine. Arrived at Wick late at night but happy to see Mary's mum & dad again. But not half as happy as they were to see us!!

So we've been here for a few days and went to the Salvation Army on Sunday. Good to see everyone again. Major Norman told everyone about my Blog from the front - thanks Norman!!!! Again, Mary played her coronet in the band - so proud of her. Lydia was amazed that mummy could play the metal thing!

Will go down to Fraserburgh again on Thursday and hopefully John Wildrianne from AoG World Ministries is coming to visit us on Friday. Next week is kinda hectic - Lydia starts school on Tuesday, Thursday I meet the new World Ministries Director Dave Russon along with our action Asia Director Mike Dixon in Whitburn and on Saturday I am going to a AoG Regional Ministers meeting in Perth.

To be honest, we have been really finding it hard in these last few weeks. I cannot switch off from Sefton Village, as we have no consistent cover for the 6 months we are here. I am still contacting the Philippines regularly. We are also really struggling to get out itinerary organised, prepare powerpoints/prayer cards/pens/bookmarks/DVD's etc. It is hard to do between all the travel and appointments we are doing.

Please pray for us at this time. We are going through what they call in Missiology "Reverse Culture Shock" or "Re-Entry". We are coming back into what was our own culture, but now that culture has moved on. People have moved on. Trends have moved on. Fashion has moved on. Churches have moved on (well, some!) There are things that we have had to re-learn and things that are brand new. It just take time to adjust. It is late, so I will write a bit more about it tomorrow. Until then, just keep us in your prayers.

BLESSINGS ....

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Hi there ... yup, I'm still alive and well up here in the Beautiful town of Fraserburgh. We arrive down from Wick last week and have been here trying to get lots of things sorted out ... especially BROADBAND! My goodness. It is twice as easy to get DSL in the Philippines than here in the good old UK. My dad gave me a Tesco Dial-Up CD to keep me going but 95.8% of the time I cannot connect. AAAAAaaaggh. Get me back to the hi-tech world of the Philippines (joke!)

Anyway, can't complain. I am more than blessed! We have settled into our wee house in Shore Street and have seen many old friends in the last week. So good to catch up. Spent a morning with my buddy Ben - actually he has the same name as me but obviously he comes a long way short in the looks department! He's the kinda friend that I have absolutely no contact with for 3 years, but when we meet up it's as if we had never been apart. Special friends who will be forever friends. And tommorrow is my wee boy's 2nd birthday! Wehey!

Met Mary's brother Bruce and his wife Alison again. Salt of the earth folk who you can depend upon and who care so much. Uncle Bruce came all the way to the Broch to give Josiah a wee prezzy for his birthday. That's what you call the extra 42 miles! Spent good time with Michael and Alison Tait last Friday night. They treated us to one of the best meals I have ever tasted - Prawn Cocktail (massive ... but I did tell the guy that I hadn't tasted one for 3 years 'coz I've been in the Philippines etc. etc.) followed by a steak with creamy Haggis sauce (Yup) and ending with sicky toffee pudding. All with my favourite drink - Blackcurrant lemonade with a dash of lime. Good that my diet started on Monday eh?

On Saturday we were meant to go down to the Edinburgh area for the weekend. But, to be honest, we really struggled last week. It's as if we completely ran out of steam. We were mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted. It just hot us like a tidal wave. We were meant to go down south on Friday, but we have been having trouble with our car so we got it serviced and new brakes etc. On Friday night, for the 1st time ever we locked ourselves out of our house! We all had to stay in grannies house. Lydia thought that this was the coolest thing ... ever ... and she kept thanking her mummy & daddy for the great idea. If only she knew!

It was if the Lord was saying, "Wait, slow down, Stop. Take time for yourselves. Take time to settle. Let your children rest and adjust. Don't run around meeting lots of people and tell them "We're fine" when you are not. Relax. Enjoy family. Wait. Strengthen."

We had some engagements and things set up down south, but people understood and graciously released us. Over the weekend and over the last few days it has just felt 'right' to be here. The kids have adjusted again to their house, they have spent the whole weekend with their grandparents - with some extra special visits from Uncle Bruce - and we feel stronger. Norman, our agent really encouraged us and so did Keith and Anne Pointon. They are all a blessing to us.

I must admit, I was beginning to get a bit anxious about things - very unlike me. I was anxious because of the fact that I had to organise all the literature for the itinerary - brochures, pens, DVD, CD's, Prayer cards etc. - and I haven't even started. Oh for a graphic designer to help me! I was anxious about what has been happening at Sefton. I am still upset about what happened to Abe. A little bit anxious about my overheating car! Also, I was really longing for my family to be settled in one place for a wee while. These are all pressures that add up to worry.

But Keith prayed something over me in one of his calls. He said, "Lord, let Mark live in the UNFORCED RHYTHMS OF GRACE." Beautiful. God has a place where we can allow His grace to strengthen us and give us peace. of a place of strife, but a place of rest. It really blessed me.

So whoever you are and whatever you are doing - allow yourself to dwell in this place. A place where you can meet with God and He can meet with you. A place where you can be real and honest. A place where you can lift your hands and say, " It's tough ... but I can make it." A place where we can exchange our weakness for his strength. God hasn't designed you to fight 24 hrs without rest. Every soldier needs to rest, strengthen and wait for new commands. This is not wasted time, but essential for victory.

Don't strive ... live in the "Unforced Rhythms of Grace."

Thanks Keith.