Gutted

There are some nights that I go to my bed absolutely satisfied. Maybe I have seen lives changed, made a good decision, achieved or accomplished something, won a battle, happy with an event or ministry or just downright thankful for the amazing life I live.

But there are some days where I feel 'Where did I go wrong?", or "What happened" or "Why Lord?" Today was one of those days, unfortunately. Gotta deal with them, coz they come thick and fast sometimes!

The day started well enough. Thirteen people arrived from Cornerstone Singapore at 2am - they are here for a Missions Trip. We met at the hospital and told them, "Guys, be prepared to be challenged and maybe even shocked by what you are going to experience and see." I know it's not easy for any of us to go into a hospital where desperation lurks in every ward. Little did I know that it was me that was going to have the biggest challenge.

I helped the Prayer Team in the first room - Infants and toddlers (although sometimes you get kids, men, women .. all mixed together!) As we started to pray, a mother from teh other side of the room cried, "Doctor, Doctor" and began to cry. I went over as she picked up her wee boy and began to stroke him. "Don't go, Don't go ... mummy has a lollipop here for you!" I heard the 'death rattle' from this little boy and I knew this was serious. Within seconds, around 20 students nurses gathered round the wee boy and began to give oxygen and heart massage. The mother was hysterical. They kept on trying until the Doctor came. This big doctor came in, checked the boys heart and pulse, and said, "Patay (dead)" and then walked out!

I was stunned! The nurses began immediately to take out the drip from his lifeless hand. Everybody left, except me and the mother. I went over to her and felt such compassion. I wanted to fight for this boy. His body was still warm but his lips were blue. I began to cry out to the Lord, "Please Lord, let breath come back. Let his spirit return. Healing. Hope. Miracle." It is so hard to pray when you know the whole ward is watching you and a mother is next to you grieving for her son. But I felt I had to. I kept praying, believing.

But there was no change. No breath. I prayed for the mum and left to go and cry. I felt I should go back, so I did. The little boy was wrapped in a blanket by his mum. 'Don't be cold my son", she cried. I sat down beside her again and prayed for the life of this young boy. Nothing.

I went out again and the Ministry Team began to pray for the mum. James Aquino told me that the boy had started coughing a couple of days before and they thought it was a common cold. He was brought yesterday and they diagnosed it as Bronchitis. Within a day .. he was gone. In the morning he was given an orange lollipop ... but he never had the chance to eat it.

I felt I should at least pay her bill, as she seemed to be really poor. I found out she was so poor that it was considered a Charity Case. I wanted to give some money towards a coffin but I could not find the mum. "She's in the morgue," the chief nurse said, "Follow me!" My goodness, the last place I wanted to go was a morgue!

The 'Morgue' was just a few pieces of galvanised iron nailed together with only two walls and a roof! I found the mum sitting there alone, crying. "What would Jesus do?" I thought to myself? I picked up the baby, now almost cold, and prayed to the Lord. Nothing. I cried and handed him back to his mum. I gave my gift to help her, prayed for her and walked away. Feeling empty.

I drove to the school where we were doing a feeding programme ... but my heart wasn't in it! I was surrounded by beautiful, healthy children ... but my thoughts were with a wee boy that died of a simple illness. I was gutted.

Today, I have been really sad. Why? Why did this beautiful wee boy have to die? Why did my prayers, given so earnestly, seem to have no effect. Why do the poor suffer so much? Why?

I came home and found Josiah playing. "Thank you Lord", I prayed to myself. For his health, his personality, for his sense of humour, for his (daddy's!) good looks, for the joy he brings, for the future he has ... for the life he lives. The little boy I prayed for will never have the opportunities my son has. And yet, I remember a day when my little boy was sick with Pneumonia and the Doctor said to me, "If this medicine doesn't work, we have no more hope or options." Through prayers and a good Doctor ... he made it.

I keep wondering what that family are doing now. At the end of the day, I did what I could. I know that at those difficult moments ... we have to leave it with God. Our times ARE in his hands. It's just hard when the conclusion doesn't make sense.


I would like you to pray for another handsome wee boy I met today. His name is Angelo (above) and he has just turned 1 year old. Exactly 21 days ago he took a seizure ... and he has been in a coma ever since. He is still in hospital but is not responding pr opening his eyes. The family has no money for a CT scan or EEG scan. I was in a hurry to catch up with the Singaporeans so I had just time to pray for him and speak to his mum. PLEASE pray for this boy ... he is such a wee cutie. Pray for a miracle - that he would come out of his coma and be completely healed. That his life will IN NO WAY be affected by this seizure.

Our God always answers prayers. He doesn't always answer in the way that we want ... but he always answers.

I'm going to bed now. I am praying that tomorrow will be different.

Selah ...

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long and find
There is none like You

Your mercy flows like a river wide
And healing comes in Your name
Suffering children are safe in Your arms
There is none like You

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long and find
There is none like You

A Warm Hello from Alison Tait ...

Hi everyone ... well, true to her word Alison Tait is going to do the first ever 'Guest Blog' on the Real Deal. Alison, her husband Michael and niece Jemma Rose have been here at Sefton for the last week and we have had a great time with them. Here is what she wants to share ... well done Alison!

" A warm hello from Sefton Village - a place where you never know what will happen next. This is our third visit here and we always enjoy spending time with Mark, Mary, Lydia and Josiah and our Filipino friends. We have also enjoyed fellowship with Keith and Anne, who just cooked us Paprika Beef and trifle for tea. It's very hot here - some rain is always welcome. There is so much to tell you about, but here are just a couple of highlights.

On Tuesday we set off to a local school where we met the Cornerstone team who fed around 700 children some rice mixed with lots of nutritious ingredients (5 hours of cooking was eaten in 15 minutes!) The teachers were desperate for us to do a programme for the children, so pastor Jun spontaneously arranged some games, singing and prayers with the children. They loved it and their smiling faces showed it. That's when you know you're in the Philippines - when unplanned stuff happens with such blessing.


Today (Wednesday) we had an early start, first to the Cornerstone office for a short time of worship and prayer, before about a dozen of us went to the local government emergency hospital. We were told that the patients would be laying in the corridors but nothing prepared me for the smell and to see these people, most of them on drips, laying on their own camp beds outside, with a small roof covering them. The team went in twos into different wards and corridors, getting to know the needs of the people and praying for them. They did this with such love and respect for these patients honouring the name of Jesus.

Sefton is a colourful place in many ways with beautiful people...

Bringing Hope to our Hospital

Three years ago, my little girl Lydia became sick with pneumonia and was admitted to hospital here in Santiago. The sad thing was … it was on Christmas Eve! Poor wee soul. She was admitted at around 4pm, and for 12 hours Mary & Lydia did not get a single visit from anyone – except for a few nurses’ visits to take Lydia’s temperature. When I arrived at 4pm on Christmas Day, they were so delighted to see me!

In 2005 I challenged the members of Cornerstone Church to give up a few hours of their Christmas Day and spend time visiting the sick in hospital. I was amazed at their enthusiasm! So we found out how many people were in the 4 main hospitals in Santiago. We bought gifts for them all – fruit and biscuits for the adults and toys for the kids. After we had our Christmas Morning service we divided the church into 4 groups and sent them to the hospitals.

Well, they came back rejoicing with many stories to tell. In the hospital where I went, the patients could not believe that we would care enough to visit them on Christmas Day. They were amazed as we sang Carols gave gifts and prayed for them. The whole experience really touched the lives of our members as they saw the effect of their love on the patients. We repeated this ministry last December.

When I was home on Scotland, the Lord challenged me to set up a consistent Hospital Ministry programme – not once a year, but once a week. I spoke it over with Pastor Marlou who is our Cornerstone Spiritual Life Director. Finally, two weeks ago we began our new ministry. It all happened quite miraculously. A month ago we went to school to do a feeding programme – only to find that most of the kids were not there as it was their last day before summer. What would we do with all the food? Henry shouted, “Let’s go to the Hospital next door.”

The Hospital is called the General Emergency Hospital … but it is not like any hospital you know. It is for the poorest of the city and is run by the government. There are just as many people out in the corridors as there are in wards. Hygienic conditions are terrible and it has been many years since the walls have seen a lick of paint. Inside this hospital are desperate, needy and sick people of all ages. It is hard to even walk around and see the desperation on people’s faces.


But we went and fed everyone in the hospital – even the staff! The chief of the Hospital wanted to see me and we spent 30 minutes with him. I shared our vision and he was so touched. We agreed that every week we would go and pray for the sick and once a month we would feed everyone as well. Listen to this – he asked us to build and decorate a House of Prayer in the hospital!!! Amazing.

So a fortnight ago we started. First, we had a small service in the Out Patient waiting room! I preached to doctors, nurses, staff, cleaners, patients, carers and family members. Chaos! But I really enjoyed it. We then fed everyone and began t o pray for the people. Our team of Pastors and Leaders prayed for everyone in the hospital. We felt the presence and peace of God in that desperate place.

We went again on Tuesday – very humbling experience. I prayed with a little girl whose finger had been cut off by her brother. She is only 4 years old. I prayed with a man who had been beaten up by his brother in law with steel bar – his face was horrendously cut and bruised. I prayed for many with diabetes, high blood pressure and one man who had been shot by his friend. And so much more …

In the heart of this hospital … people are finding hope. Jesus is there. Keith had a great point at our leader’s cell group the other day. Many people say, “Jesus the answer!” And of course, He is. BUT, the Bible says “Christ IN YOU, the hope of Glory.” In you. You.

You are also the answer. Your life. Your hands. As the song says, “So many lives depend on what I do…”

In your village, town or city there are many who are lonely, or desperate, or sick, or needy. Don’t pray, “Draw near to them” – you draw near. Don’t cry, “Lord, touch them” – you touch them. Don’t say, “Lord lift them up” – you encourage them. May Christ IN YOU minister to them.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Selah...