Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I Love This Place...


Check out this picture I took last week of the rice fields outside Sefton. Beautiful ...

In the last few weeks we have had the pleasure of showing Keith & Anne around their new abode and assisting them in their various trips to Santiago. It has been so enlightening to see the place through their eyes and again realise that there are some crazy things going on right in front of my nose! Things that make you laugh so much. Things that you cannot work out ... but to everyone else in the Philippines it seems perfectly normal.


For instance ... a few weeks ago I was in a church. The church had an 'open time' - not for testimonies (the usual thing) but for 'special numbers' (songs). This is always dangerous - especially in the Philippines as everyone thinks they are the new Philippine Idol. Anyway, the first few 'numbers' were OK. The amazing thing in the provinces is that every song we sing in churches is always in D. Every song. To be an accomplished guitarist here, you only need to know 3 chords - 4 chords you are brilliant and 5 chords you are on your way to Nashville!

However, there is always a problem. Sometimes D is far too high or far too low. This is what happened with lady No 4 at this church. The guy played a beautiful intro in D, but she started singing around the key of A. Nightmare. So here is the amazing cultural phenomenon that happens in the Philippines ... the guy plays the whole song in D whilst the lady sings the whole song in A. No compromise. To me, it sounded terrible, but as I looked around the church it seemed so many were blessed - eyes closed, hands in air, amen etc. There are some things that we are not destined to understand!!!! I felt like Simon Cowell!

Anyway, for the sake of Keith, Anne, Matthew, Claire and all the many visitors that will be taking a pilgrimage to Sefton over the next few months, here is a list of 'strange but true' cultural funny stuff from the good old P.I. that I included in one of my first blogs:

* Filipino Time - an hour late is an hour early. But who cares anyway? If we're all late then we're all on time! Right? When a service starts at 8am, that is when we Filipinos start to get ready for the 8am meeting. Same problem in Africa. How do we Brits handle it? Well, in the first year Mary & I tried to change the whole Filipino culture .. starting at Sefton. But most people just did not get it, and we ended up going to things hours before they started and getting a bit frustrated. So guess what we do now???? Yup, Filipino-Scottish time! We're always officially late but unofficially early. It's great!

* Filipino 'Yes' - Here in the Philippines 'yes' is an amazing word. In the boring old UK, yes means yes. But here it can mean ALL of the following - maybe, what do you mean?, I have no idea what you are talking about but I will pretend that I do, no, I will ask someone later ... or yes. So you can see that we got into big problems when people responded 'yes' to us!

* Filipino Signboards
- Because English is the written language in the Philippines, we can understand everything! Sometimes we have seen funny things written down on jeepneys or houses.

For example, this week I saw 16 young people on a tiny tri-cycle with the words
'Jesus, make me wise as I travel' written at the back! I saw a sign on a gate once that said, 'Please, no men urinate here ... only dogs' The classic is the roadworks sign that says, 'Slow men at work'... and it is true!


* Filipino Aircon Buses - I love living in the Philippines - don't get me wrong. But there are things - whichever way you look at it - that are just plain wrong. Buses. The normal way of travel here. During daytime, it is scorching hot. During nighttime it is cooler. So when does EVERY Filipino bus company send out their lovely aircon buses? Nope, you are wrong. The answer is ... Nightime. Result? During the day a bunch of roasting hot Filipinos with every window open and the bus full of fumes. During the night, you will find a bunch of freezing cold Filipinos who are almost at deaths door because of the cold - all wrapped up in blankets and wearing thick socks.

* Filipino Mathematics - Filipinos cannot function without calculators! Arithmetic is not their strong point. For example, one time I went for lunch at a fast food restaurant. My meal was meant to have 2 cups of rice, but the lady only gave one. I was a nice Christian at that point and so I decided to say nothing. However, after I sat down the lady came running over and said,"Sir, you should have 2 cups of rice!" Guess what she did? She scooped off the one rice on my plate that was still untouched, and added 2 new ones! Why could she not just add her one to my one? That actually makes two!

* Filipino Snoozers - Filipinos have an amazing gift ... they can sleep at the drop of a hat (see Pastor Nestor above!). They love their siesta sleep and cease to exist if they don't have it! We took our team of Filipinos to Singapore - wow, what an amazing, superb place - full of places to go and things to see. But what was our teams preferred activity after the seminars when they had free time? Yup, they loved to go back for a 40 winks to the hostel!

I have seen Filipinos sleep on the back of motorbikes (yes, when it is moving), in our church services (especially when I am preaching), on top of tricycles .. you name it - if they are tired anywhere is a bed!

So come on out to the Philippines folks ... you will love it. The people are the loveliest people on earth, but some of the things that they do are the funniest and strangest things in the world!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the Philippines too!

wow - I'll be classed as an accomplished guitarist!!! Can play a few chords now - only thing is it takes me ages to change chords so it sounds great when I try a song!! he he

Oh the quirks of the Philippines - u can't beat them!! Role on June!

No need to say who this is!!

Anonymous said...

"The Filipino people are the loveliest people on earth, but some of the things that they do are the funniest and strangest things in the world"

...that actually makes Filipinos distinct and unique with other people on earth. Brits can't be as funny and strange as Filipinos. do you?

Anonymous said...

Carabao English
On special occassions Filipinos loves to invite everyone. They die 2 carabaos 1 boy, 1 girl. They eat their house and eat all you can!
They also die chickens, boys and girls!!